Knight in Shining Armor
by LPHenderson'sGirl
Summary: Kendall Knight, a closet gay was sent to a straight camp by his strict religious parents. Three months later, he's starting his new life off at a new school in a new town, where he meets James, Carlos and Logan. Now, he has to choose between being what his parents believe is best for him and pursuing what he wants most. Kogan fic. Abuse. Self-harm.
1. Chapter 1: First Day

A/N: _New story for you guys and I'M SO EXCITED! Hope you guys enjoy it and don't forget to review!_

Disclaimer: _I do not own Big Time Rush or anything else you may recognize._

_ENJOY.  
_

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**Chapter 1: First Day.**

_The air moving around me made me feel like a feather on its edge, one little push and I'd fall. It was just that easy and it was just what I wanted._

_To fall._

_To plunge._

_To stop it._

_The spray of the water hit my face and hands making me shiver at the chilling contact, but it didn't overlap the pain I was experiencing. Oh God, the pain. It started in my heart, seeping into my lungs, up through my arms, deep into the scars on my pale skinned wrists. Why couldn't everything just work out the way I wanted it to? Why does it always have to go bad and take what I love with it? Everything I knew was falling apart and all I could do was watch. Watch it all crumbled until it was just rubble at my feet. I looked down, the tips of my shoes no longer on the edge, but over it._

_I sniffled and wiped the tears that were rolling down off my chin, the wind whistling in my ear. Just a little more and all this won't matter. None of it will hurt me anymore. I would be free._

_I shuffled my foot forward, but then stop and tensed up again. Is this really what I want to do? When the going gets tough, I'm going to run?_

_I looked around me, the road was moonlit; damp from befores rain and empty as could be. No one came after to me at my darkest hour, no one came to save me. If they can't be my Knight in Shining Armor now, later won't matter._

_I moved my foot more until there was nothing underneath it to brace it with a catch. I shifted my whole body ahead and let my eyes slip closed. Clearing my thoughts of all sanity as I let out my last breath of air and broke my balance._

* * *

- 7 months before. –

* * *

"You'll love it! Plus, when your mother and I were signing some papers in the front office, school was just letting out and there were lots of pretty, _pretty_ girls." My father said making sure to say pretty twice for emphasis.

I gave him a look from the passenger seat to show him that what he was saying appealed to me. But the truth was, I didn't care about those girls. I didn't care that he wanted me to go to this new boarding school. I didn't care that he wanted what was best for me. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to return back to Minnesota and play hockey for my school and see my friends. All I wished was to wake up from this dream, no, this nightmare.

"And if it isn't a _girl_ you find pretty then... I _can_ always fix that." He said and then set his hand on my wrist. I hissed when he made contact with a fresh bruise.

I looked over at him as he gave me a cold look, I then responded with a glare in return and said; "I like girls, dad. Like you said, _'it was just a phase.'_"

If you didn't already know; I'm gay. That was until three months ago when my mother walked in on my lover and I and found us laying in my bed, shirtless and making out. My parents are religious and after my mom screamed in shock, my dad burst through the door and not only punched my boyfriend in the face, but me too. Two days later, I was in the car on my way to a straight camp where I rotted for three months of my seventeen year old life being told "_it's just a phase_" and "_we'll make you better_".

After I certainly convinced the people and staff members that I was now 'changed', they called my father and he finally let me return home. Only to find out 'home' wasn't really home. My father had moved us from Minnesota to Ohio. To start fresh, they said.

Now, that I've been home from that hell hole for a week now, my parents enrolled me in a new school. St. Rollan Boarding School. It was a school for grades 8 to 12. I'll be starting as a senior. The last year of my high school existence and I can't even enjoy it with people I've known since we were in diapers.

Right now, my dad was driving me to my first day at this new school and I could really care less. I was homesick, but I wasn't allowed to say that since apparently we were home.

My dad. Pfft. I'm surprised I still call him that after everything that man and I have went through. After he had found out I was with a guy he tried to 'heal' me himself or 'beat the fuck out of me until it was gone' if you want to be a dick about it.

The man had never laid a hand on me before that day; I guess taking a liking to guys took that privilege away.

For example: this morning I walked downstairs to the kitchen to eat the breakfast my mom had set out, but on my way to the coffee maker I was pulled and yanked by my arm until I was face to face with my so-called father. He held my wrist tighter and tighter until I let out a whimper and pleaded for him to release me. When he let go all he had to say before he went back to him morning paper was: "You were walking like a girl."

"Kendall Francis, we're here I said," My father said pulling me out of my thoughts. I looked over and glanced around the school grounds. It was green and open, but it wasn't Duluth High; Home of the Raving Firebirds.

"I'll be here at this spot at three. _Don't_ make me wait." He threatened. I nodded and opened the car door. I entered the school without another glance at the man that I had to call family.

...

"Hi, my name is Kendall Knight. This is, uh, my first day and I don't really know where I should be." I said awkwardly to the darker skinned woman in the front office.

"Oh, Kendall, sweetheart, I was waiting for you to show up. I have your schedule right here," She pulled out a paper and handed it to me. She then pulled out another smaller paper and held it up. "This is your locker number and combination. It will be in the Western Wing of the school. That's where the senior classrooms are if you didn't already know and if you need any questions feel free to stop in and ask."

She smiled at me and I attempted to reply with one in return. "Uhh… What if I get lost?"

"Oh!" She said rummaging through a stack of paper. "Here's a map."

I took the map from her and then continued to stand there awkwardly.

"You might want to go now," She said gesturing to the clock. "Class starts in ten minutes."

"Oh, right, thank you Mrs. ...?"

"My apologies. Ms. Kelly Wainwright. " She held out her hand with a smile and I shook it.

"It was nice to meet you, but I should go." I said backing up towards the door.

"Goodbye Mr. Knight!"

I exited the room and looked over the map she had given me. I made it down the hallway to the Western Wing okay, but when I turned the corner, I had to hold on to the wall beside me for support or I surely would have fallen.

I was looking at the most beautiful creature ever created and I could not stop staring at him. His hair was brown and spiked up, his eyes were a chocolate brown and so gorgeous. Upon his face was; an adorable crooked smile that was to die for and those dimples. I shivered.

He was talking to a boy inches taller than him and his eyes seemed to glisten as he spoke. I couldn't hear his voice, which upset me, but when he started to laugh, at something the boy had said, I seemed to have forgotten my name.

I need to meet him.

Just then the warning bell rang, and I quickly looked around. Student were urging off to their first class and I still didn't know where I was supposed to be. I glanced back at the beautiful brunette, but he had vanished. I sighed and turned around sharply, planning to hurry down the hallway in a rush to find my classroom, when I ran right into someone. Our books and papers flew into the air and littered the floor in between us on contact and as we knelt down to pick them up, I had already burst with apologies.

"Oh my God, I am so sorry! I am new here and I didn't know where I was going an-"

"Hey, man, it's okay, accidents happen."

"I'm still sorry." I muttered. I looked up at him and immediately noticed he must have been a popular kid. He had perfect hair, clothes, and face.

"What's your name stranger?"

"I-I-I'm Kendall."

"Last name?"

"Knight."

"Like a night sky or like a horse riding knight?"

"Horse riding."

"Nice. I'm James Diamond." He picked up his last paper and stood up straight, I followed his example and then held out my hand. He shook it. "So, Kendall Knight, where are you headed?"

"Algebra with Mr. Walters."

"Same here! I'll take you there." He gestured from me to follow him and we made our way down the hallway.

When we made it to the classroom the second bell rang and everyone took his or her seats. I walked over to the teacher and he then announced that I was new and to be nice to me. He then told me to go sit down in the back at any open seat I could find. Lucky for me, there was an open one next to James.

I sat down and pulled out my math textbook.

"So, Kendall, why did you move here two months into the year? Why not finish your senior year at the same school you started it at?"

I hesitated before saying anything. I wasn't allowed to talk about my 'vacation'.

"I-I, uhh, my dad's job."

"So, are you like constantly traveling and moving around?" He asked.

I nodded.

"Are you one of those people that doesn't talk, but when you do it's only a little bit?"

I nodded again.

He seemed to ponder that. "Well, okay. Want to sit with me and my friends at lunch?"

"Sure."

He smiled. "Great."

"Diamond! Knight! Pay attention!"

* * *

I followed James to the cafeteria at lunch and when we got our lunches we sat down at a table with a boy and a girl already sitting there. The boy was smaller and dark skinned and the girl was pale white with long, brown, curly hair.

"So, I'm guessing you're the new kid everyone's talking about?" The girl said as I sat down.

"Camille! At least say hi!" The boy sitting across from her said.

"I'm Camille." She said with a smile.

"I'm Carlos." The boy said.

"Kendall." I said.

"Ahh! It is you!" Camille said. "The girls at this school think you are so fine."

"Really?" James asked a bit confused. "They didn't act like that on my first day."

"Yeah," Carlos said. "They thought you were gay."

All three laughed while I just sat there awkwardly.

"So, Kendall, where are you from?" Camille asked turning to me.

"Minnesota."

Carlos asked the next question. "Why'd you move during the school year?"

Before I could answer, James spoke up. "His dad's job. Now, will you guys stop pestering him and let him eat." He looked at me. "Sorry about that, they can be nosey."

"It's alright."

We began eating, but then Carlos spoke up out of nowhere.

"Hey, where's Logan?"

They all looked around with looks of confusion.

"Yeah, where is the little bookworm." James said standing up.

I looked around trying to figure out who they were referring to, when I saw him.

It was the beautiful brunette.

He walked into the cafeteria holding a blood stained toilet paper wad to his nose. I immediately wanted to punch who had ever done this to him. He quickly walked over to where we were sitting and sat down next to Carlos, putting his elbows of the table.

"Hey guys." He said. His voice was angel like. He had only said two words and all I wanted was for him to talk and to never stop.

"_Hey guys?_ You walk in here late with a bloody nose and all you have to say is _'Hey guys'_?" Camille said angrily.

"Yeah, what the fuck happened to you, Logan?" James demanded.

So, this was Logan. Even his name was perfect.

"Jett and Dak." He said simply moving around the jumbled up tissue trying to wipe his nose of the remaining blood on his face.

"They need to seriously leave you alone. They have no reason." James said.

"You know exactly why they do it." He held up two fingers with his unoccupied hand. "Reason one; I'm gay." He put one finger down. "Reason two; I'm better at hockey than them."

My heart swelled until it was practically falling out of my chest. He was gay AND liked hockey? This move might have been the best thing that ever happened to me. Might.

"Who's this?" He said looking at me.

"I-I, uh, I"

"Don't hurt yourself, man. This is Kendall. He's new." Carlos said.

"Oh! I know you."

What.

"You're the kid I saw run into James this morning. Made your guys' books fly everywhere! It was quite a site." He laughed.

I could feel my face heat up.

James laughed. "You saw that? Yeah, Kendall didn't know where to go, he turned and ran me right over." I bet my face was as bright as it could possibly get. Please, someone kill me now. "But then we figured out we had the same class, so I just led him with me and then asked him to sit with us."

Logan smiled at me and butterflies fluttered in my stomach. "So, Kendall, you like hockey?"

"Love it." All three of the guys smiled. "I was, uh, the captain on my team." I said slightly embarrassed when I thought of the memory.

"Oh my God! You have to go to tryouts with us next week! With being captain at your old school, you'll for sure make the team!"

I nodded with a smile. "Yeah, sure I will."

James and Carlos high-fived. Camille looked at me for a little while and then stuck her hand in her purse and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. She wrote something down and handed it to me. It was an address.

"I'm having a party Friday night and I think you're cool, so I want you to come."

"Yeah, you should go. Everybody who's anybody will be there." Logan said.

"I don't have a car." I looked down.

"I'll drive you." James said.

"Okay," I said nodding. "Count me in."

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A/N: _Hope you guys like the first chapter and would like to read more!_

_Please Review!_

_Xoxo, Jennie._


	2. Chapter 2: Peppermint

A/N: _I got bored and decided to write chapter two up. So, here you go! _

_ENJOY._

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**Chapter 2: Peppermint.**

I stood in front of my closet on Friday afternoon, it's been an hour and I still couldn't figure out what I wanted to wear to the party tonight.

James, Carlos, Camille, Logan and I had all became fast friends. I was like the last piece to their puzzle. We all got along well and our personalities bounced off each other perfectly. Even thought I only had been going to their school for five days, I had actually learned quite a bit about each of them. James was rich. As it turns out his mom is the CEO of some big cosmetic company. That's how I figured why he was so perfect, and he also cared a lot about how he looked. Also, that he has a mega crush on Camille. Carlos is a goofball and loves doing crazy stunts. Camille wants move to California after high school and be an actress. What I also learned about Carlos and Camille is that they're both very nosey and if you get them together, they are the worst. They always try to pry information out of me about my life, but since I don't talk much, they don't get much to work with.

And then there's Logan; the God in a teenager's body. Everything about him was perfect, not one flaw. He loved hockey and music. That right there gets my full approval. He's a complete athlete, but a nerd nonetheless. He loves science, algebra, history, everything. Plus he's a straight A student. What I would do for him to be my tutor.

Right now, it was 7:30 and James was coming to pick me up at 8:30 so we can go to the party. After minutes and minutes of tossing clothes around my room, I was finally satisfied with an outfit for tonight. A red, white and grey plaid button up with the sleeves rolled up halfway, black skinny jeans, red and white vans, and my new Choose 180 necklace. I stood in front of the full-size mirror on my closet door. I had to break it to myself; I looked hot.

I looked at the clock:

_7:52PM_

I grabbed my wallet and phone and headed downstairs to wait for James. I headed into the living room, where, sadly, my dad was also. I sat down on the couch and watched what he was watching for a little bit.

"Where are you going again exactly?" He asked not looking away from the TV.

"A party."

"And who's picking you up?"

"My friend James."

He gave me a look that looked threatening. "A _boy_ is taking you?"

My heart started to beat fast. He thinks it's a date. "A girl from s-school invited me. He's just giving me a ride." I said quickly.

He stared at me for a while and then turned back to the TV. "Be home at a respectful time."

The doorbell rang. I muttered an okay in response and hurried to the door. I opened it to find Carlos. He must of saw my confused look, because that's when he spoke up.

"James is in the car. Mine's in the shop." I nodded and turned to look at my dad from the other room. He was gone from the couch, so I turned to Carlos and nodded. I began my way out of the door; I patted my pockets out of habit and found my front pocket empty.

"I forgot my phone. I'll be right there."

"Okay." He said.

I turned and went back into the living room. I found my phone on the floor and picked it up. I stood and whirled around to head back to the door when I was met with my father's towering body. We were so close to each other I could feel his breath on my face. I gasped out when I saw him and he lifted his hand and grip the back of my head, jerking my hair when he heaved my head back. I whined at the pain and stared up at him.

"I meant it when I said be home at a respectful time." He said in a lowering tone.

My eyes stung with tears from the pain of his tight grip and I nodded as best I could. He removed his hand from my hair hastily and continued to stare coldly at me.

"Good. Now go."

I withdrew from the house as fast as I could and got into James' backseat. I tried fixing the back of my hair, but the pain from my hair being pulled made it difficult.

"You okay, man?" James asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" I said innocently.

"Because your eyes are red."

"Oh, I, uh, yeah. I'm fine. Probably just allergies."

James and Carlos looked at each other. "Well, okay."

I didn't respond as a way to drop the subject, but Carlos instantly started a new conversation directly after.

...

It didn't take long for us to arrive at the party and boy, was it a party. There were people everywhere; the yard, the porch, the windowsills. We got out of the car and headed up to the door where Camille greeted us.

"I'm happy you guys showed." She grinned.

"And why wouldn't have we?" James teased.

"I don't know." She laughed. "Well, just go inside, the drinks are in the kitchen, help yourself to anything." She looked around. "Everyone else seems to have already anyway."

We made our way into the house and quickly found the kitchen. We all made ourselves a drink and talked for a bit. Camille announced she had to go talk to some people and James not even a second later said he would go with her. Leaving just Carlos and I to talk.

"I wonder where Logan is." He said randomly.

"Right here." A voice called.

We looked to see Logan approaching us, holding a drink of his own. My heart sped up.

"Hey guys."

"Hey Logan. Oh my God, did you see the girl in the red shirt on your way in here. She's so hot." Carlos said.

"Carlos, buddy, not to hurt your feelings or anything, but if you have forgotten, I don't play for that team." Logan said.

"Oh yeah." He said a few seconds later. "I always forget because just a year ago _you_ were the one bringing up conversations about girls to me."

"That was when I was in denial, sweet child of mine."

"Oh shut the fuck up."

We all laughed and started to talk about hockey tryouts next week when the red shirted girl walked past us.

"Sorry, you guys, but I got to go talk to her." Carlos said setting his drink down and leaving just the two of us.

"So," Logan said. "How come you never join in on James and Carlos' girl conversations?"

Oh God. Think fast. "B-Because the girls are usually not my type."

"Oh," He said and then nodded. "Makes sense."

And then, just like that, we were talking nonstop. We talked about hockey, food, TV shows, everything. I told him about Minnesota and my old school. Talking to Logan just came naturally. I felt like I could tell him anything, but at the same time, I couldn't tell him anything. After a while we started to get into deeper conversations and then suddenly talking about what we liked in a person. Unintentionally, I described Logan: funny, smart, easy to get along with, shorter than me, brunette.

Then there was a moment where there was nothing to talk about, so we just looked into each others eyes. Letting the silence do the talking. That's when Carlos came into the room, loud as could be, obviously drunk, yelling; "WOO HOO! PARTY!" constantly. He grabbed a bottle of liquor and ran from the room, knocking into Logan, which pushed him right into me.

I looked down at him, but he didn't move away, just looked back up at me. I didn't move away either, because, well, it didn't feel like I needed to. I felt like this was some sort of fate. We stared intently into each others eyes, neither of us wanting to move away. I had completely forgotten where we were, when we were, what I was supposed to pretend to be, all I could think about was the beautiful chocolate color of Logan eyes. We leaned in slowly.

"What did you say your type was again?" Logan whispered.

We leaned in more and our lips crashed together. My lips felt like they were on fire, and it felt so good. Our lips moved in sync with the others as we drank each other in. His lips tasted like peppermint and it was so intoxicating. I never wanted to let it stop. I moaned into the kiss and then it all came back to me like a smack in the face.

I'm supposed to be straight.

I tore my lips from Logan's and looked at him in shock.

"What's wrong?" He asked with a hint a concern.

I let go of him and stepped back. "That wasn't supposed to happened." I said.

"What do you mean? Didn't you like it?" He asked stepping towards me.

"I did like it." I muttered. "But, I wasn't supposed to."

He gave me a look of confusion. Before he could say anything else, I fled the room and out of the house, out into the driveway. I continued fast walking down the lot, up onto the sidewalk.

That wasn't supposed to have happened. If anything else happens my dad will find out. Just the thought of returning back to that camp makes my stomach churn. I can't go through that again. Not when I like Logan this much. I haven't even known him that long and I feel like I've known him forever. I was stupid to think for one second it could work. I should have ignored my stupid feelings the first time I saw him. I wiped the tears that slipped from my eyes.

"Kendall! Kendall!" I heard someone calling me.

I turned to find Logan running up to me. I turned away from him and tried to keep walking, but he grabbed my arm, making me turn to face him.

"Kendall, please don't just leave. Talk to me." He said.

"Logan, there's nothing to talk about! It was a mistake! It meant nothing!" The words stung coming out of my mouth.

"You know you liked it!" He said.

"No, I didn't!" I exclaimed wiping my cheek.

Logan gave me a look that obviously said he wasn't buying it.

"It isn't good to deny it." He said softly.

"I can't do this, Logan." I mumbled.

"But why not? I really like you. I've liked you since you knocked James down in the hallway. I couldn't stop thinking about you. I can't stop thinking about you. I know it's only been a couple days, but I feel like I've known you forever."

The words echoed in my mind. He felt the same. I lowered my head and cried into my hands.

"Y-You d-d-don't understand." I sobbed.

"Help me to understand." He said.

"I can't like you." I said. I moved away from him and began walking down the sidewalk again.

"Kendall, wait!" Logan said grabbing my arm again, but I pulled it away.

"Leave me alone." I snapped.

He cowered back a bit and I continued walking. Leaving him there.

...

It ended up taking me a half hour to get home from Camille's house and when I approached my house, I could feel the tension. I pulled out my phone and check the time.

_1:56AM_

I'm late.

I entered the dark house cautiously, closing the door softly behind me. Instead of going for the light I decided to leave it off. I slipped off my shoes quietly and set them by the door. I walked up the stairs, making sure to make no sound.

I walked into my room and again closed the door softly behind me, but when I moved to hit the light switch, that's when it happened.

I was grabbed by my throat and slammed into the door, the handle jabbing me in the back, causing me to wince. I hit the wall next to me with my hand, trying to find the switch, when I finally found it; I was met with cold, blue eyes.

I tried to pry his hand off my throat but it wouldn't budge. I choked when he tightened his grip, causing black dots to fly around in my vision.

"I said a respectful time, did I not?" My father said.

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out, so I slowly nodded.

"I don't really think two in the morning is a respectful time." He said. "Don't let it happen again." He let go of my throat and I gasped for air. He stepped back and raised his hand, back handing the side of my face harshly. I cried out and held the side of my face with my hand.

"Go to bed." He hissed.

He left my room, closing the door with a hard slam and I just stood there for a while. I shuffled my feet over to my bed slowly and sat down on the edge, my face stinging where I was just hit. I began to cry for a second time that night. Why couldn't he just love me for who I was? Why was everything I experience giving me pain?

I laid back on my bed and continued to cry. What was the point of me being here if my own father didn't care about me.

I sat back up and moved so I could reach under my bed, I pulled the only thing that was there for me when others weren't.

My razor.

I brought the sharp blade to the skin of my wrist and slid it across, a small trail of blood behind it. I moved the blade down and made another cut, doing it again two more times before I found myself satisfied.

Once my crying died down a bit, I reached back under my bed and pulled out a tissue box I had kept there. I took a couple tissues out and put them on my fresh cuts so I didn't get blood on anything. I stood up and moved to my dresser, opening the drawer and retrieving the box of band-aids I had stashed in there. I put four band-aids on my arm and threw away the wrappers.

I changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt, turned off the light, and laid down on my bed again.

A good nights sleep, that's all I ask.

* * *

A/N: _Well, there's chapter two. :)_

_Please review and let me know what you think!_

_Xoxo, Jennie._


	3. Chapter 3: Wednesday

**A/N:** _So, I kind of felt bad that the first two chapters were really short, so I decided to be nice and write you a really long one. Yay me!_

_Hope you guys like this one. :)_

_ENJOY._

* * *

**Chapter 3: Wednesday.**

_Beep Beep Bee-_

I groaned as I turned off my alarm clock. I sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. It was Wednesday and today was the day of hockey tryouts. No one had seen the kiss at the party and I thanked God for that. The last thing I needed was my parent's finding out. But just because no one saw us doesn't mean they didn't notice the sudden change in mine and Logan's behavior. Logan and I haven't talked since Friday night and it was killing me from the inside out. Even worse Carlos, James and Camille all saw the sudden difference in the way we were acting and wouldn't leave us alone about it, neither of us had the guts to spill though.

I swung my legs over the side of my bed and stood up. I walked lazily into the bathroom across the hall and shut the door behind me, locking it. My hair was askew and there were bags under my eyes.

I took a quick shower, loving the way the water would flow over my body and down the drain. I washed my hair and cleaned myself and then turned the water off. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. I grabbed another towel, drying my hair and then I brushed my teeth. As I was rinsing out my mouth, there was a knock at the door.

"Kendall?" My father called.

"Yes?" I said from inside the bathroom.

"You still going to hockey tryouts today?"

"Yeah." I said simply.

"Well, I don't have time to be picking your ass up, so you'll need to get a ride."

"I will."

When he didn't answer, I figured he had left the hall. I unlocked and opened the bathroom door. I peered out into the hallway, when I didn't see anyone; I went to my room to get ready for school. When I walked in, my dad was standing next to my bed looking down at something. I felt a sense of embarrassment standing in front of him with just a towel covering me.

"What are you doing?" I said.

"You seem to text this boy James a lot." He said turning around, my phone in his hands.

"Because he's my friend, dad." I reached out to grab my phone, but he held it out of my range.

"Just a friend?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, dad. I can have boys as friends _without_ them being more than friends."

"Are you sure about that?"

". . . Of course I'm sure."

A loud smack was the only thing you could hear. I yelped and lifted my hands in defense, the side of my face stinging worse than the last time my dad had smack me because it still hadn't healed all the way.

"You hesitated." He said. He dropped my phone on my bed and then left my room without another word.

I staggered over to my dresser, rubbing the side of my face with the palm of my hand. I grabbed a pair of boxers out of my drawer and put them on, then I headed over to my closet in search of an outfit for the day.

I settled on a white, plain t-shirt with a bright blue, zip-up hoodie, and black skinny jeans. I kept the hoodies sleeves rolled down in order to cover my band-aids. I slipped on my white pair of Vans and put my wallet and phone in my pockets. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and headed downstairs, my face still stinging slightly. My mom was in the kitchen, sitting at one of the bar stools on her laptop.

"Morning mom." I said walking over to the coffee maker.

"Morning." She grumbled.

"What's wrong?" I asked filling a coffee mug with fresh roasted coffee.

She let an annoyed sigh. "I can't go on that vacation with my old friend from high school anymore because we had to use the money for it for you to go to camp."

I set the coffee jug back in its spot as calmly as I could. "Oh." I said.

"Yeah, awesome." She stood up out of the chair abruptly, the legs of the chair scraping across the hardwood. She closed her laptop and left the kitchen.

I took a sip of my coffee. "Love you too, mom. Glad you love me for me and respect the decisions I make in life." I muttered to myself.

My dad came into the kitchen a couple minutes later and grabbed his keys off the counter and turned to me.

"Let's go." He said.

I downed the rest of my cooling coffee and set the coffee mug in the sink. I followed my dad outside and into the car. He started the car in silence and we made our way to school.

...

As we were pulling up the front, I went to open the door when the door locked. I looked over at my dad.

"Have a good day." My father said.

Why is he being nice to me right now?

I looked down and nodded. He unlocked the door and I got out. I walked up to the school and went inside, instantly seeing James.

He was talking to Logan.

I stopped dead in my tracks and just looked at them. Logan's back was to me, but I had looked at the back of his head enough to know it was him. James' eyes wandered around the hallway for a second and they landed on me. I blinked a couple times before realizing I probably looked stupid, so I gave him a small smile and continued walking.

I made it to my locker and put in the combination. I stuffed my bag inside and grabbed my morning books. My mind began to think about what had just happened with my dad. What was that 'Have a good day' shit? He was never nice to you, why the sudden grace?

I closed my locker to find James standing right where my locker door had been.

"Gahh!" I yelled and then took a breath. I slapped him on the chest. "You scared the shit out of me."

He laughed. "Sorry, didn't mean to, but you should have seen your face."

"Speaking of your face," Carlos said walking up to us. "What happened to your cheek?"

I put my hand over my bruised cheek. "Oh, uh, nothing."

Before anymore questions were came out of Carlos' mouth, James spoke up. "Are you still coming to tryouts after school?"

"Yeah." I said.

"Awesome," He said. "Just don't be shocked if you make the team and Jett and Dak get up on your ass. They always torment new people."

"Why?"

"No idea, they usually do it to scare them, but who knows with them and their big heads."

I laughed and glanced over past Carlos, Logan was approaching us.

"Hey, Carlos, did you study for the history test today?" Logan asked completely ignoring that I was there.

_"There's a test?"_ He yelled.

Logan laughed, his beautiful dimples showing. "I'll take that as a no."

"Jesus, I got to go study! See you guys at lunch." Carlos then ran off down the hallway.

"Well," Logan said turning to James. "I got to go."

Logan walked off without even a glance at me.

James turned to me when Logan was out of sight. "Alright, what the hell is up with you and Logan? I know I haven't known you long enough to be able to pester you and I'm not Carlos and Camille, but seriously. It's bothering me."

I sighed. "We had an argument."

"You got to give me more than that, Kendall. You can trust me."

My heart sped up. It won't hurt to tell him, if he accepts Logan then this would be no big deal.

"Well?" He urged.

I groaned and put my forehead on my locker.

"Wekissedattheparty." I sputtered quickly.

He gave me a confused look. "Come again?"

"We kissed at the party." I said quietly blushing terribly.

When he didn't say anything, I peeked over at him.

"I thought you were straight."

"I am!" I lied.

"And you guys aren't talking because of it?" He asked moving on with the subject.

I nodded.

"That's stupid," He said. "A kiss shouldn't ruin your friendship. You should talk to him."

"He doesn't want to talk to me."

"Just talk to him. Talk to him. . . at lunch or after hockey practice."

"Fine." I huffed.

James smiled. "Good boy."

The bell rang.

"We should probably get to class before Mr. Walters shoots us." He said.

"Good thinking." I said as we started walking.

* * *

I walked into the locker room after school for hockey practice. My eyes widened when I saw all the guy trying out undressing. My jeans started to tighten and that was my excuse to make a B-line for the stalls. I quickly got changed and exited the small cubicle and with my luck, running right into someone.

"Watch it, new kid!" The guy said.

I mumbled a sorry and tried to walk away.

"You better be sorry." He said. He reminded me of my dad.

"Leave him alone, Zevon." Carlos said walking up to us.

"Tell him to watch where he's going!" Dak said.

"Don't walk out in front of him and he won't have to!"

"Zevon! Garcia! Knock it off! Save it for on the ice!" The coach said. "You know, the ice? WHERE YOU SHOULD BE RIGHT NOW!"

Carlos put a hand on my shoulder. "Come on."

...

"You! Kid! What's your name?" Coach Rocque asked pointing at me. I had just scored a perfect goal from the other side of the rink and everyone was shocked.

"Kendall Knight." I said wiping the sweat off my forehead.

"That was _amazing!_ Where'd you learn to score like that?" He asked.

"He was the captain of the hockey team at his old school, coach!" James said.

Coach Rocque pointed at James. "I wasn't talking to you." He turned back to me. "Is that true?"

I nodded.

He smiled. "Welcome to the team."

James and Carlos fist-pumped the air and then patted me on the back.

"Practice is over! The list with everyone that made will be on the bulletin board out in front of my office tomorrow morning. And I'm gonna say this like I do everything year; NO WHINING IF YOU DON"T MAKE IT. If you didn't make it, then you didn't make it. Hit the showers!"

"I just knew you would make it!" Carlos screeched as everyone else went for the locker room.

I took off my helmet and smiled and then the guy Carlos had fought with earlier, Dak, skated up to me with another guy behind.

"Back off, guys." James said.

"What? We can't congratulate the newest member of the team?" The other guy said innocently and ruffling my hair.

_"Back off_, Stetson." James pressed.

"Don't be like tha-" Dak began, but was cut off by Logan skating over.

"Didn't you hear him, Zevon? Back the fuck off."

"Oh and what are you going to do about it, Mitchell?" He pushed Logan. "Huh, _fag_?"

I could see the hurt flash across Logan's eyes.

"Hey!" I said making Dak stop. I looked down. "Just stop."

"Awwh, look, Jett. We got a lover, not a fighter."

"How cute." He smirked.

"Zevon! Stetson! Leave them alone and come here!" Coach Rocque called.

The two sent glares at us and went to skate toward the coach. "Don't think we're done here."

When they were gone Carlos made his way to the locker room, James giving me a look before skating off towards him. Logan went to follow them, but my voice stopped him.

"Logan, wait." I said.

He turned to me. "What?"

"I'm sorry." I said. "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I'm sorry I left you like that at the party Friday."

He looked away from me. "That really hurt me, Kendall."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "How can I make it up to you?"

He took a second to think about it. He looked up at me and smiled. "Come to my house for dinner?"

I smiled back. "Sure."

We stood there for a second and then he spoke up. "Uh, we may, umm, want to go get dressed."

I blinked. "Right. Let's go."

We showered, I tried my hardest to not look at him or anything of the guys still in there and then I got dressed in the bathroom stalls again. When I finished up I exited the locker room to find Logan, James and Carlos waiting for me.

"Jeez, you take as long as a girl." James teased.

"Hypocrite," Carlos said to him. "You used to take forever, longer than he just took; on your hair."

James playfully shoved Carlos. "Shut up."

"It's true." Logan snickered.

"You can shut up too." James glared.

I laughed at them. They were all so funny when you got them together.

"Hey guys!" A girl's voice said.

"Oh, hey Camille!" James said. His attitude suddenly changing.

She grinned. "That was some practice, especially the end."

"Yeah, Jett and Dak can be such dicks." Carlos said.

"Good job making the team, Kendall." She said.

"Thanks." I replied.

Carlos pulled his hockey bag over his shoulder. "So, what are you guys off to?"

"I'm starving, so I'm going to go somewhere and eat." James said.

"Ooh! Yum, I'm going to go with you." Camille said.

James' cheeks tinted red.

"What about you, Logan?" Carlos asked.

"My mom is making dinner, so I'm going to go home."

"Nice," Carlos said. He turned to me. "And you, Kendall?"

"I'm, uh, going to Logan's for dinner." I said.

James eyebrows shot up and Camille quirked an eyebrow also.

_"Really?"_ She asked.

Logan and I nodded.

"So. . . you guys are talking again?"

We nodded again.

"Finally!" Carlos said and then a phone rang. He reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone and looked at it.

"I got to go guys. My mom wants me to pick up some stuff for dinner."

"We should go too." Logan said.

"Okay," I said. "Bye guys."

They said bye back and Logan and I made our way out to his car. During the middle of the car ride, Logan broke the silence between us.

"Thanks for wanting to come over." He said.

"Yeah, sure. I said I was going to make it up to you."

He grinned. "Thanks. But I should tell you, since you are not James nor Carlos my parents may think you are my boyfriend."

My cheeks flushed. "Why?"

"Because they haven't met you before. Don't worry they did that with my old friend Andrew. . . but then he did end up being my boyfriend." He paused for thinking. "Anyway, yes, they will pester you, but once we tell them we aren't together, they'll stop. They're just those kind of parents that speak before they think."

"I know the feeling." I mumbled.

"Huh?"

"Nothing."

We turned into a driveway. "This is my house."

His house was huge! It was two story, had a two-stall garage, great big glass windows and it was just awesome.

"Your house is nice." I said stepping out of the car.

"You should see the inside." He said locking the car and walking up to the front door. He unlocked the door and went inside.

"Mom! Dad! I'm home!"

A middle-aged woman walked out of a room.

"Logan, sweetie, how was your da- . . . Logan, who's this?"

"Before you freak out, he's just a friend. Mom, this is Kendall. Kendall this is my mom, Amy."

She held out her hand with a smile. "Nice to meet you, Kendall."

"Nice to meet who?" A deep voice said coming from down the hall. A tall man emerged from the hallway and I could instantly tell it was Logan's dad. They had the same hair and dimples.

"Dad, this is Kendall; my friend." Logan said.

"Hello, Kendall. You can call me Mr. Mitchell."

"Maxwell!" Amy said. She looked at me. "Just call him Max, hun."

I laughed. "Okay."

"Mom, Dad, I was wondering if Kendall could stay for dinner?" Logan asked.

"If you help me with making it." Amy replied.

"Ugh, fine." Logan said. "I'll show you the kitchen."

"Logan, Kendall is our guest. Kendall, you can go in the living room if you want to." She said pointing towards an opened door room.

"Okay, thanks." I said making my way in there.

"It won't take long." She said. "Max, go keep Kendall company."

"Yes, dear." He said following me into the room. We sat down and he turned on the TV.

"So, how do you and Logan know each other?" He wondered.

"I met him last week, on my first day of school, through James."

"Oh I see. Why'd you start at a new school after the school year already started, if you don't mind my asking?"

"My dad's job moved us from Minnesota."

"Who's your dad?"

"Kenneth Knight."

He looked at me. "You're Knight's son?"

I nodded.

"Yes," He said. "I can see it, you look just like him. . . except-"

"The eyes." We said at the same time. He lifted an eyebrow.

"I get that a lot." I said. "I have green, he has blue."

We sat there for awhile, just watching TV.

"Dinner's ready!"

We both stood and I followed him to where I found was a large dining room, we all sat down. I sat down next to Logan. Halfway through the meal, I decided to tested him and put my hand on his knee. He looked at me and gave me the most adorable smile. I didn't move my hand the rest of the meal.

* * *

After dinner, Logan took me up to his room. It was exactly like him; Hockey stuff, a large world map on the wall, a desk with school supplies everywhere on it, a queen sized bed, and a tall bookshelf overflowing with books.

"Your room," I said closing the door. "It's so. . ."

"Lame?"

"You."

He blushed. "James, Carlos and Camille always say it's so lame."

"I like it."

He sat down on his bed and sat down by him.

"So, I got to ask," I began. "Why do you have such a big house, when it's only the three of you?"

"Oh, uh, well, my parents bought this house right after they got married because they wanted a big family and I was their first. About three years after having me, my mom ended up pregnant again, but there were complications and she had a miscarriage four months in. The doctors said if they tried for anymore, she could die. So, now they just have me."

". . . Wow, I'm sorry." I said.

"No, it's fine. You didn't know."

"Okay, well, I got something to ask you," That made me tense slightly. "While we were eating, my dad said something about knowing your dad from work, but he had said something, about three weeks ago, that there was someone new coming to his office because of 'personal reasons', but that wasn't what you told me. . . Were you lying?"

I didn't say anything, the silence giving him the answer. He looked at me straight in the eyes. "Could you tell me why?"

"I-I-I, uh."

"Please?"

My heart was racing at an unbelievable rate. Should I tell? Should I lie about it? I can't lie to Logan. He'll understand, won't he? I mean. . . he's gay too.

"I had to go away for awhile in August. . . then we moved here because my parents thought it was what was best for me. . ." I said softly.

"What do you mean?" He said confused.

You can do this, Kendall. He'll understand. . . He has to.

"Straight camp." I croaked.

His face still held a look of confusion and then it dawned on him. His eyes widened in shock and then he lent forward and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug.

"Oh my God, Kendall! I would have never guessed! I'm sorry." He said.

"It's okay." I said putting effort into the hug. "When I got out, my dad had moved us from my home in Minnesota to here. He didn't want me in contact with people I knew before I left."

"That's why you freaked at the party." He said stilling clinging to my body.

"Yeah." I said.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Kendall."

"Me too." I muttered.

He pulled away so we were looking at each other. "So, because of your dad, we can't be together." He said sadly.

"We could, but he just couldn't find out." I said smiling.

"Kind of like Romeo and Juliet, I like it." He said smiling at me back.

We just sat there, smiling at each other, enjoying the silence. It was just like at the party. He leaned in a little and caressed my cheek.

"Can I?" He asked.

I nodded and he crashed our lips together, the taste of peppermint flooding my mouth. He moved his arms to around my neck and I put one of mine on his waist and the other on his cheek. His lips were electric, sending static voltages through my body. He moved his hand to the back of my head and threaded his fingers in my hair, giving a small tug. I moaned out and licked across his bottom lip, asking for entrance. He opened his mouth and I shot my tongue in, battling his in a fight for dominance, he gave in to me quickly.

I laid him down and got on top of him. I traveled my hand down his body and brought it to the obvious bulge in his jeans. He moaned out and unbuttoned the top button and pulled the zipper down. He tore his face from mine.

"No sex." He said.

I leaned back and grabbed the belt loops of his pants, pulling them down to mid-thigh. "I was just thinking we could fool around."

"O-Okay." He said.

I began palming him through his boxers. He laid his head back on the mattress and moaned. I stuck my hand in the pocket of his boxers and grabbed his cock. I pulled it out and stroked it to full hardness. I moved to the bottom and licked from the base to the tip, Logan let a shiver. I put the tip in my mouth and sucked harshly.

"_Ahh,_ Oh God." He moaned out.

I pulled off. "You keep moaning like that and your parent will know what we are doing."

He blushed at my words and I brought my mouth back to his dick. I pull the tip in my mouth and went lower, relaxing my throat in order to go farther. I began bobbing my head, Logan making beautiful noises. I started bobbing faster, trying to hear him more.

I could taste the pre-cum on my tongue and he started breathing deeper, I could tell he was close. I didn't stop my movements until I heard him whimper out.

_"Kendall."_

And then I could feel him come down my throat in ropes. I swallowed and then pulled off. He was breathing fast and hard. I put his flaccid cock back in his boxers and helped pull his jeans back up. I moved back up so I was lying up on top of him. He opened his eyes and looked at me.

"D-Did you swallow?" He asked.

I nodded. "I don't like a mess."

"Oh," He said. He grabbed me and flipped us over, giving me a mischievous look. "My turn."

He unbuttoned my jeans and waste no time in putting me in his mouth.

"Jesus Christ, Logan." I gasped letting my eyes roll back.

His mouth felt amazing, the way his lips fit around my cock so perfectly, I felt like I was in pure bliss. I tried to thrust into his mouth, but he was holding me down with his arms. He was bobbing his head at the perfect pace. He pulled off and before I could protest, he did what I had done and licked a strip from the base to the tip.

"Oh God." I cried out.

He tongued the slit, lapping up any pre-cum that was pooling there. When he surrounded me with his mouth again, I started to feel that sensation in the pit of my stomach, I threaded my fingers into his hair.

"I'm close." I whimpered.

He began sucking harder and I lost it completely, coming with a shout.

He pulled off, fixed my clothes and glanced up at me.

"Huh, swallowing isn't so bad." He said.

I chuckled pulling him up to lay next to me. "Thanks Logie."

"You're welcome, Dimples."

"Dimples?"

"Yeah, Dimples. You have dimples and I like them, so your nickname is Dimples."

"How cute." He blushed. "I like your dimples too and I like you."

"I like you too, Dimples."

We brought our lips together once again in a passionate kiss, but we were interupted by my phone ringing. I groaned and pulled it out of my pocket.

_Dad._

My eyes widened and I looked at the time.

_10:07PM_

"Shit." I said.

I answered the call.

"Hello?"

_"Mind telling me where the fuck you are?"_

"After hockey tryouts, my friend invited me to have dinner at his house and I lost track of time."

_"I want you home, now."_ He said and hung up.

I sighed. "I have to go home, like right now."

"I'll drive you."

I grinned. "Okay."

We stood up and I grabbed my things. We then headed downstairs, only to find Logan's parents sitting on the couch watching TV. They looked up at us as we were coming down the stairs.

"I have to take Kendall home." Logan said.

"You do? Okay, it was nice meeting you, Kendall." Amy said.

"Nice meeting you guys too." I said.

I slipped my shoes on and opened the door. Logan gave his parents a weird look.

"Why are you guys down here watching TV?" He asked. "You usually watch it upstairs."

Neither of his parents said anything, then suddenly his dad said the one thing I never ever wanted an adult to say.

"The walls are only so thin."

Me and Logan looked at each other, both of our faces cherry red. Logan walked and pushed me out the doorway in a rush.

"Oh my God, say bye to Kendall, I'll back later." He closed the door. "That is by far the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me."

"Same here." I said in agreement.

* * *

We made it to my house fast, my heart beating rapidly.

I am so dead.

He parked the car in the driveway. "Thanks for coming over for dinner." He said.

"Thanks for dessert." I smirked.

He blushed and then waited a second. "Can I. . . Can I kiss you?"

I shook my head. "Too risky."

"I understand." He said sadly.

"See you tomorrow?" I said trying to lighten the mood.

"For sure." He smiled.

I got out of the car and walked up to the front door, unlocking it and opening it slowly. The lights were off, from past events, that was never good. I turned around and waved to Logan. He waved back and then backed out of the driveway

I turned back to face the dark interior of the house. Here I go.

I walked into the house, closed the door behind me, took off my shoes and made it up the stairs with no attacks. I walked into my room and turned on the light, surprise that he hasn't jumped me yet, maybe he didn't want to tonight. I closed the door and locked it, turning to my dresser and changing into my pajamas.

I turned the light back off and laid down. It didn't take long until I was dreaming about a certain brunette.

* * *

**A/N:**_ Hope you guys liked this chapter! _

_Please Review!_

_Xoxo, Jennie._


	4. Chapter 4: Criss Crossed

**A/N: **_Finally! a new chapter! A lot of Kendall angst in this one! Hope you likey._

_I'm sorry if there are any grammar, spelling mistakes._

_ENJOY._

* * *

**Chapter 4: Criss-Crossed. **  
**  
**

I groaned as I woke up, the feeling of the hardwood floor under my fingertips. I squinted my eyes, the brightness burning my irises from the early morning sunlight.

"Wake up! You're making me late for work!" My father roared at me.

I lifted my head and looked around. I don't usually fall out of bed in the morning. . . Did . . . Did he push me on the floor?

He walked over to my closet and yanked out my pair of red skinny jeans, along with a white, fitted, long sleeve shirt. The hanger falling out onto the bedroom floor. He turned and chucked the articles of clothing at me, hitting me in the face.

I pulled them off. "Put those on and let's go." He turned to the door. "You come home late on a school night and don't even check in to tell me you're home. Then you don't even bother to set your alarm. You're lucky I didn't just leave your ass here to walk." He opened the door and walked through it, leaving it open.

I began to rubbed my eyes, listening to his footsteps as they went down the hallway.

"I'm sorry, daddy." I said softly and the distant walking stop. I stopped rubbing abruptly. _Did I really just say that? _I listened for the footsteps, but came up with just silence. I stood up slowly, still in a daze from my sudden wake up call, then the walking started again. Weird.

I stood up and stretched. I pulled on the, now wrinkled, clothing and left my room, entering the bathroom. I brushed my teeth lazily and ran my fingers through my bedhead of blonde hair. I exited the bathroom, totally ignoring that I had left the light on and sprinted down the stairs; two at the time.

"Took you long enough." My mother said as I walked into the kitchen. "He's waiting in the car."

I filled a to-go cup with hot coffee and roughly pulled on my shoes, grabbing my backpack in the process. A car horn honked as I shuffled my feet to the door.

"Love you, mom." I said, the fall November air hitting my skin as I closed the screen door behind me.

I received no answer.

* * *

"I said I wanted you home after tryouts." My father said, breaking in the intense silence and then making a fast left turn.

_"No, _you said you didn't have time to pick me up." I stated from the passenger seat.

"You still have no business being out so late on a school night." He retorted.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not a child. I'm almost 18!"

"Hence the word: 'almost'. You are still a minor and minors have curfews!" He yelled.

"Why can't you just give me a break and let me be a teenager? You were a teenager once!" I shouted.

"Yes, but I wasn't as much of a problem!"

I looked at him. I could only imagine the hurt in my eyes as he looked back at me. "So, that's what I am? . . . _a problem?"_

He gave me a stern look. "Maybe if you just acted normal-"

"Am I not normal enough? Being normal is for pussies!" I snapped, though I wish I hadn't. No one ever snaps at my dad, let alone, interrupts him. He slammed on the brakes, causing my body to jolt forward. I held my breath waiting for what was to come.

The back of a hand hitting skin was heard.

To me, it was felt.

"What is with you and slapping me?" I said holding my face, always the same side too.

He lent close to me. "You listen close and you listen hard." My father said. The words coming out like venom on his tongue. It sent shivers down my spine. "If you ever talk back to me like that again with such foul language, so help me God, _you are going to get it._"

"Yes, dad." I said softly looking away.

"Good. Now, get out." He snarled.

I looked out the window to see that we had stopped in front of the school. I unbuckled my seatbelt, my hand still pressed against my ever bruising cheek and climbed out of the car. I slammed the door, a way to show I wasn't scared.

Truth is, I was petrified.

I never talked to my dad like that. I don't know what possessed me to say that. It felt good to say, to talk back to that man, but at the same time. . . it was unsettling. I've always been so obedient and quiet, only speaking few words. Standing up for myself kind of made me feel. . . uneasy.

I made my way into the brick building and on my way to my locker, I was met with James waiting for me.

"I thought you'd never show up! How did your dinner with Logan go?" He said.

I opened my locker. "It was okay." I said blankly.

"Okay? Not 'super amazing' okay? Just 'okay'?" He interrogated.

". . .Yeah." I looked at him. What was he getting at? I looked around, not finding the other brunette anywhere. "Uhh. . . where is Logan?"

"Oh, he said he had a last minute doctor's appointment, so he isn't coming in today." I frowned at his words. "But, he'll be back tomorrow."

"Good." I said.

He hesitated. "Alright, seriously, what are you doing?"

"Huh?" I gave him a confused look.

He pointed to the side of my face. I glanced down, feeling stupid that my hand was still resting there. How did I not notice I was still doing that? I blushed and pulled it down slowly.

He gave me a horrified look. "Oh my God! Kendall! Your lip is bleeding! What the fuck happened to you?"

"Nothing." I said wiping my lip on the rear of my hand, the smallest trace of blood going with it.

I went back to retrieving my book, but then James grabbed my shoulders making me face him.

"Kendall," He said. His eyes were soft. "Who did this?"

"Nobody." I said simply, not completely meeting his eyes.

"Was it Jett? Or Dak?" He shot quickly.

"No, James." I said moving his arm off me and closing my locker. He eyed me.

"Then tell me what happened! I'm like your best friend!"

"Nothing h-h-happened." I stuttered.

He gave me a look of disbelief. "You're lying." He said matter-of-factly.

I opened my mouth to respond, but then the warning bell rang, cutting me off. I sighed.

"Just drop it, please? I don't want to talk about it."

He huffed. "You're going to tell me."

We turned to make our way to Algebra.

"You're almost as bad as Carlos and Camille." I said.

"Only when it involves my friends getting hurt."

* * *

It was the middle of 3rd period and Ms. May was lecturing us on something to do with science when my phone vibrated in my jeans pocket. Who would be texting me in the center of class? I sneakily took out my phone and unlocked it from under the table.

_(1) New Message_

_Dad._

_U went to the Mitchell's for dinner?_

I hastily replied.

_Yeah. their son invited me._

I waited a bit before I received another text.

_i heard he's a fag._

I cringed at the three letter word. I hated that word.

Before I could respond, another message popped up. My heart stopped.

_If i see u with that boy or hear u r talking to him. u r going back. and u r staying there._

My breath caught in my throat and my mind felt dizzy. He would send me back if I talked to him. . . over some dinner. . . . _He would send me back._

I snatched up my bag quickly and stuffed my papers n it, my pencil making a mad escape to the floor.

"Mr. Knight, we still have 35 minutes of class." Ms. May said.

I ignored her and stood up, making a scene as I rushed to the door and scurried down the hall.

I busted into the men's restroom, thankful that it was empty. I rushed into the closest stall, slamming the door, it bouncing back a bit before I twisted the lock and put my back up against it. I squeezed my eyes shut, an all too familiar sensation coming from behind my eyelids making them water. I slid down the door and sat down on the tiled floor. I didn't care if it was unsanitary, I couldn't give two fucks.

I tilted my head back and settled my elbows on my bent knees. My heart felt like it was sinking to the pit of my stomach at an agonizing slow pace. I already fell for this boy so hard and now. . . I'm not allowed to talk to him _or _be seen with him. A lump formed in my throat, refusing to go away. A series of words began to flash through my vision.

_Why do I have to be such a disappointment?_

_Can I ever do anything right?_

_You're nothing. _

_Can't something amazing come into my life and just. . . stay?_

_You're not worth it._

_Everyone would be better off if you weren't here._

_Is my purpose in life to really have no purpose?_

_Yes._

I banged my head on the door out of anger, the collision making a soft echoing noise in the compacted stall. Tears began to stream down my face, after my failed attempt to subdue them canceled. I don't want to go back, but I don't want to stop seeing Logan. I _can't _stop seeing Logan.

I grabbed my bag and unzipped the front pocket. I moved my hand around inside until I felt what I was looking for. I gripped it in my hand tightly, not caring about the sharp pain it was giving me. I took out my fisted hand and opened it slowly in front of my face.

My other razor sitting lightly in my palm. I had put it in there just in case I wasn't home when I needed it.

I rolled up my thin sleeve and peeled off my older band-aids, the cuts being just thin lines of scab. I touched each and every one and each one giving off the tiniest pinch of pain. Almost feeling like a bruise. . . of all people I would know.

I brought the small piece of metal to my skin, letting it slide across, the crimson liquid leaving a trail. I was breathing heavily and my eyes were beginning to be blinded by my tears. I tried to blink them away, but it was no use.

I moved the razor lower and slid it across again.

Three times

Four.

_You're nothing. _Five.

_Worthless_. Six.

Seven.

An eighth time for having to decay in that camp.

A ninth for every time my mother ignored me.

A tenth time for my dad.

And a eleventh for every single swing of my father's hand that hit my face.

I moved away like a coward and wiped my eyes. I dropped the razor next to me, it clattering on the floor. I sat there for a while, my knees pulled closer to my chest, blood lining down my hand and off my fingers.

Moments later, I reached up and unrolled some toilet paper. I pressed it on my damaged wrist and let it soak up the red blood.

I snatched up some more toilet paper and folded it around my arm, acting in temporary gause.

The bathroom door creaked up and my ears perked up.

Footsteps.

I began to panic and jumped up. I pulled down my sleeve and grabbed my bag, not forgetting the blood covered razor. I put it back inside my bag and zipped it up. I opened the stall door and the one person I didn't want to run into. was right there. . . and it wasn't Logan.

"Hey, Bro! . . .What's wrong? You okay?" James said stopping where he stood.

"Nothing. Just had to pee." I said not looking at him and approaching the sinks, setting my bag on the ground. I squirted some soap on my hand and turned on the hot water, James still standing there, staring at me.

"Were you _crying?" _

My heart sped up a notch when the water turned a shade of pink. I thanked God that James couldn't see from where he was.

"N-No." I said.

"Either that or you were smoking, and it doesn't smell like smoke," He guessed. "so yes, you were. Why?"

I shut off the water and turned to him. "James-" I began.

"No, Kendall. Don't start trying to shut me out. Talk to me."

I grabbed some paper towel and wiped my hands. I threw the damp paper in the nearby trashcan. "It's nothing."

"Don't give me that shit. You were crying in there." He pointed towards the stall I had just exited moments ago. "And you've been off all day! You weren't even paying attention when Mr. Walters called on you today, _you're always paying attention."_

My breath hitched. _He noticed that?_

I stayed quiet. He looked directly into my eyes. "Please tell me what's wrong."

"I-I, uh. . . just have a lot on my mind." I said, trying as best I could to not break my performance and let it off as nothing. I just longed to disappear from this spot, this room, the building. . . life.

He sighed. "Kendall-"

"James, look," I swung my backpack over my shoulder. "I have to go back to class." I pivoted on the balls of my feet and made my way to leave. He reached out right as I had fully turned my back and grab my arm. I hissed and whimpered a little too loud when he grabbed my wrist. I stumbled backwards slightly, just barely catching my balance. I looked into his eyes with a pleading look.

_"James." _I whined, dropping my bag.

He noticed my discomfort and lifted an eyebrow. I tried to remove myself from his grasp, my cuts stinging from not being cleaned and taken care of properly, but he wouldn't let go.

I could tell he was very suspicious of my behavior already and the way I was acting here and now. . . it was just the cherry on top. He was close to putting all the piece to the puzzle together, the picture finally displaying itself. He flicked my arm over and all was lost.

The cuff of my sleeve was stained red, my poorly wrapped toilet paper doing no mercy. The obvious lines of blood giving him all he needed to understand what was before him.

This was a secret, no one was supposed to know, and I was exposed.

I began to cry again as James starred south at my lower arm, pure shock etched in his features. He loosened his grip and I extracted my arm from his confines, cradling it to my chest, not caring about the front of my shirt.

"Oh, Kendall. . ." James murmured.

I leaned in, resting my forehead on his shoulder, the wetness of my eyes discoloring that same area of fabric on his shirt. I felt him put his arm on my back and move it in soothing circular motions as a way to relax me.

Painful sobs wracked through my body and you could see just how obvious I was breaking inside. My walls are usually built back up before I'm returned to the presence of people around me, they were still in construction when that bathroom door opened. The supports were just not strong enough. I could feel myself begin to shatter.

"Breathe. Just breathe." He said gingerly.

I continued to cry, words not able to comprehend in order to respond. I tried to even my breaths, taking deep ones.

"Can I. . . can I see?" James questioned.

I lifted my head and lent back, tears still drifting down my cheeks.

I nodded and offered my arm out to him. He held my arm as if it he gripped it any tighter it would break like porcelain. He folded up the cuff of the darkened fabric and scrunched it up to my elbow, the wadded up toilet tissue sticking to my skin from the moistness. He un-wrapped the tissue gently and then the cuts were in sight; all eleven of them outlined in pink and leaking of blood. The first nine slits were parallel to one another, but the last two. . . those were the deepest, criss-crossing each other, assembling an 'X'.

Once I had calmed down a snip, he brought me over to the sinks again and put my limb in the bowl. He turned on the faucet. hot water hitting the open wounds.

I hissed in pain.

"Sorry, buddy, but we have to wash them." He said.

I fussed and he gave me a look, I stopped. He wiped the blood around the cuts and ran his fingers briskly over all of them.

I ran my other hand through my hair and maintained keeping my breathing even. It was just coming out so labored.

When he ended that step, he grabbed more of the paper cloth and re-wrapped my wrist. Deeming himself finished, he stepped back.

"That should be okay for now."

I sniffled and let my head lower. "Why. . . why aren't you yelling at me?" I paused. "Aren't you disgusted?"

"Kendall," He said pulling my head up so I looked at him. "I would never be disgusted. I'm your friend. I'm not going to run. . . I want to help you. Please let me in."

I crouched down to my bag and opened it. I took out a slender sweatshirt I had left in there and put it on as a way to hide all the marks on my shirt, making sure to have my bandages covered.

The bell rang. 3rd period was over.

"Come over after school." I uttered.

I clasped onto my backpack and hurried out of the bathroom, leaving James in my wake.

* * *

When I go home, I dashed to my bedroom, not wanting to linger in the same room as my father. Being in a car for only a few minutes was terrible enough. I laid on my bed and took a deep breath. James was coming over. I was going to tell him. _He can't tell Logan._

What only seemed like seconds later was there a knock on the front door. I made my way down the stairs and opened the door, sure enough, it was James.

"Hey. . ." He said awkwardly.

"Let's go to my room." I said in a hushed tone not wanting my dad to come in before we make it up the steps.

"Kendall? Who's at the door?" My father said walking into the room.

So close.

"Uhh. . . dad, this is James." I said not looking at him.

"Oh," He said in a surprised tone and stepped close to me. He put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed hard. "You didn't tell me you were going to have visitors."

I whined and cringed at his gripped. I moved away from him and he let go.

"Yes, sorry, I didn't tell you. James was just coming over to. . . help me study for the history test tomorrow. He'll only be here for a little while." I said.

He glared at me. "That's fine."

"Come on." I said grabbing James' arm and pulling him up the stairs.

When we made it to my room, I closed the door and sat down on my bed. James sat next me.

"Okay, talk." He said.

My body suddenly felt ridged. I knew this was coming, but once the moment finally arrived, I drew a blank.

"Ummm. . ." I looked up at James.

"Okay," He said crossing his legs in front of himself. "I'll ask questions and you can answer them."

I nodded.

"How did this all start?"

I looked back down and my eyes felt that sensation again. I'm such an emotional person.

_Toughen up, you worthless waste of space._

I took another deep breath. "Well, I'm gay," I whispered, afraid of eavesdroppers. "And when my parents found out. . . they sent me away." A tear fell on my hand that was in my lap.

"Where?"

"To a. . . s-straight camp," I could hear him gasp, but I kept talking. "When I got out, we moved here. I had started cutting in the camp, I felt like I wasn't wanted. I hated that they didn't care enough for me to at least accept me for me. I hated it there, they were saying they were just trying to 'help' me. Bullshit. They didn't care about me, they just didn't want any homos in their world. It was the worst three months of my entire life. I faked straight to be able to go home, only home. . . was here. I was told when we moved here that we were starting new and starting fresh would be good for me. To meet new people, meet new _girls_. I was so terrified to be sent back that I tried as best I could to live up to my parents expectations. I wanted to be what they wanted. My parents are just so strict, especially my dad, I always have to do what I'm told."

I paused. "But, on my first day. . . I saw someone that messed that up." I was quiet for a minute. "Logan."

I put my face in my hands and rubbed my eyes.

"It's okay, go on. You can do it." James said.

I put my hands back down and continued. "I fell for Logan so quickly, I was over the moon when I found out he was gay and. . . at the party, the moment. . . it was just so perfect. We kissed, but then I realized, I couldn't be doing that, I was going against my parents wishes. Then he went and poured his heart out to me, I found out that he felt the same, and I did the stupid thing and. . . I ran."

"I thought if I distance myself, the feelings would go away, they didn't. After I talked to you, I went over for dinner, as you know, and we made up. . . and other things." I blushed at the memories. "After that, everything was fine. . . until 3rd period today." My voice cracked. "My dad found out about me going to Logan's and that he was gay, he said. . . he said that if I have any contact with him ever again. . . he'll send me back. That's why. . . that's why I did it." I whispered.

"Kendall, I'm so sorry." James said after.

"It's okay." I replied.

"No, it's not! You shouldn't have to go through this just because of your sexuality!"

"SHH!" I said loudly jumping and covering his mouth._ "He'll_ hear you!" I whisper-shouted. "_He'll_ _know _what we are talking about!"

I looked at him and he blinked. I let go slowly.

"Wait, Kendall," He said quieter. "None of what you said explained your bruises. . ."

I sat back down and tried not to meet his eyes. ". . . I guess I'm just clumsy."

"Kendall," He warned. "You and I both know that's a lie. I've seen the bruised cheeks, I've seen the bloody lip, I've seen the marks on your neck. Why is this happening to you?" He said.

My heart started thumping loudly in my ears. Here it was, the moment of truth. It came out in a whisper. "I wasn't doing what I was told."

When James didn't say anything for a long time, I looked up at him. He face changed from confusion to pity to sadness to anger. He stood up and shouted in a whisper like I had before.

_"He's hitting you?" _He demanded.

I nodded.

"Oh my God! I should have known! The way you flinched away when he grabbed you earlier. He always takes you to school in the morning and, duh, that's when the marks are red." He hugged me. "I'm sorry. I should have figured it out." He whispered.

I said nothing.

_Knock knock_

"Kendall?" A voice said through the door. James moved to make his way to the door.

"Don't," I said quietly. "You'll worsen it."

_"It is _worsened."

"Yes, dad?" I called.

"About time James goes home. Supper's almost ready."

"Okay." I said, I could hear him walk away. I turned to James and he looked murderous. "Please. . . don't tell Logan."

"Why not?"

"Because I want to tell him when I'm ready too."

"He doesn't know about any of this?" He wondered.

"He only knows about me going to camp, and I want keep it that way."

"I understand." He said. We both stood up and made our way down stairs. My mom was setting the table and my dad was stirring what was on the stove.

I opened the door and James walked out.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I said leaning on the door.

"Okay," He lowered his voice. "Be careful."

I nodded. "Bye James."

"See you."

I closed the door and walked into the dining room, sitting down at my normal seat. My dad brought in dinner and placed in on the table. My parents sat down across from me and filled their plates with the hot spaghetti.

When the sound of just silverware on the china and the clinking of glass was too much, my mother broke the silence. "So, who was that?"

"My friend James. He was helping my with tomorrow's science test." I lied not looking up from my fork-full of noodles.

"Oh, really?" My father said putting his hands on the table. I glanced up at him, my head still pointing down.

"Yeah." I said.

"Because you told me when he got here that it was a history test."

I looked back down. Shit.

"T-That's what I had meant to say."

There was more silence for a minute or two. "Why don't you bring a girl home sometime?" My mom said. "You were talking about a girl named. . . Callie? Was it?"

"Camille."

"Yes, that was it. Why don't you bring her around?"

I shrugged and took a sip of my water.

"Is that James boy a fag?" My father said out of nowhere. I choked on the liquid and wiped my mouth, wincing as I hit my cheek.

"No." I said. He gave me a look. "He has a mega crush on Camille. So, no, dad. He isn't, and I can't bring Camille around because it would look like I was going after her."

My mother nodded in understanding.

"Well, as long as you don't bring that fag Logan around, everything will be fine." He said going back to his food.

I stopped eating. "He's a nice guy, dad. Just because he's gay doesn't mean he wants in my pants."

He lent back in his chair. "Well, when you were phased as a fag, you sure wanted in the closest guys' pants."

I stood up fast, my chair falling over behind me. "I did not! I really cared for Dustin!" The perfect thing to say popped into my head. God, I'm going to be in so much trouble. I don't care if he hits me and I don't know where this anger was coming from, probably from not being able to see or talk to Logan. I fisted my hands. I'm going to say it. _"And _he was an amazing kisser, too."

My mother glass cup broke in her hands. My father narrowed his eyes. "HOW _DARE _YOU!" He picked up his filled glass and chucked it in my direction. I ducked, the cup whizzing past my head and hitting the wall behind me. The white paint darkening and shards of glass flying everywhere, he sprung out of his seat and bulleted towards me, pinning me up against the wall by my neck. I held on his hands as they gripped onto me tighter. He lifted me up a little, just so I was only able to stand on my tippy toes.

"You're really pushing my limits boy! Don't think I won't send you back. I will. I will keep you there until you've learned your lesson, not until they think you should go home. But, when you get out, you won't be coming here. Oh, no, no, no. You won't be my problem anymore." I swallowed. "I will leave you with nothing. No son of mine will be a homo. _You are nothing."_

I moved slightly, so I could speak. "You don't think I don't know that?" I said around the painful holding I was in. I moved my head to the side, exposing my cheek and scabbing lip. "If you haven't noticed, you haven't been very short of showing me what you think of me!"

He let go and I stood flat. "Don't be a pain in the ass, Kendall Francis." He threatened.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot that was your place, _Kenneth_." I spit. _Where was all this courage coming from?_

It happened so quickly; the fire in his eyes and the backing of an arm. A punch was thrown at my face hooking me in my cheekbone and eye; his wedding band slicing my face. The force of the blow knocking me off my feet, and I fall to the floor in a crumbled mess. I yelled in agony, my face feeling as if on fire. I tried to get back up on my hands and knees, but he brought his leg back and kicked me in the abdomen. I was pushed back into the wall and collapsed back onto the ground. The tip of his shoe sent waves of pain coursing through my body, my stomach aching in pain from the undigested food being roughly impacted. I groaned and looked up at him. "Had enough?" He said down to me.

I nodded and set my head back down, closing my eyes as I began to cry again. I was in so much pain. I brought my arm up to my face to shield it, just in case.

"Kenneth," My mother said softly. "Leave him alone. He's had enough. Go clean your hand."

My father stalked off and I wiped my face, blood surely coming off onto my hand. I dropped my hand back down and continued to lay there. My mother crouched down next to me, moving the hair out of my eyes.

"I'm sorry." She said soothingly.

I ignored her. She doesn't deserve to be acknowledged if I don't either.

When I didn't answer, she got up and left the door, leaving me on the dining room floor. Some mom.

* * *

I don't remember falling asleep and I don't remember how I was able to in the pain I was in. The only light in the house was the dining room and out the window it was pitch black. I stood up on shaky legs and doubled over from the sudden burst of pain admitting from my stomach, having to hold onto a nearby chair for support. I lifted my shirt and saw it was already bruising. Purples, blues, pinks, and yellows were covering the majority of my mid section.

I made my way up the stairs okay with a little help from the railing and shuffled into my room. Quick to lock the door. I stripped down to my underwear, not caring to turn on the light and crawled under the covers. When I was comfortable enough, careful my cut face wasn't touching anything, I reached out for my phone on the nightstand, the light of my cellphone making me squint.

_(1) New Message_

The first smile that appeared on my face today, made itself known and I set my phone back down, but not before setting my alarm. Butterflies fluttered in my battered stomach as I laid back and stared up at the ceiling.

It took awhile for me to fall back asleep, but I couldn't wait for the morning.

_Logan._

_cant wait to see you tomorrow dimples. miss you._

* * *

**A/N: **_Looks like there's love in all the sadness. Hope this chapter was good._

_Please Review!_

_Xoxo, Jennie._


	5. Chapter 5: My Knight

**A/N:** _Hello! sorry for such a long wait. BUT last week i had a Big Time Rush concert and that just kinda threw everything off for me. this chapter is so short, mostly a filler chapter but it took forever to write, which I can't figure out why. BTW; this chapter is so cheesy. X) but I wrote it at 4AM. soo... Enough of my sad excuses. Thank you for all your nice reviews! They make me so happy. Chapter 5; Hope you likey!_

_I apologize for any spelling, grammar mistakes!_

_ENJOY._

* * *

**Chapter 5: My Knight.**

The only thing I felt when I woke up was pain. I grunted as I tried to sit up; it was so agonizing; probably from sleeping on the dining room floor half the night, but also probably from being socked in the face and then a swift kick in the gut. I've had worse.

I tried to stand, just getting a few centimeters off of the mattress before falling back down on my butt. I hissed out in pain when I subconsciously slouched over. I looked down at my stomach and the distinct outline of the front of a shoe was visible. It had even more color added to it, more purples and yellows though. The whole thing was about the size of a medium-sized watermelon, but the pain was spread all over.

I tried again to stand and succeeded. But because of my father's love of hurting me, not only externally but internally as well, I was still in a slouched over position. I felt as if I was old and no longer 6"1.

I straightened my back as slowly and as carefully as I could until I was back in my normal lanky, posture. I attempted to rub my eyes, but ripped my hand away when I came in contact with bruised skin.

"Ouch!" I yelped. I looked down at my hand and a little blood was on my fingers. Crap, I reopened it. I rushed into the bathroom across the hall and tore a few squares of toilet paper off the roll, dabbing it on my cheek. I looked up in the mirror and examined my face. My cheekbone and around my eye was a replica of my stomach; purple and yellow, instead of their usual pale, pasty color with red tint. Also to add the discoloration, was a small cut under my eye, only about an inch long, swollen too.

After wiping up the rest of the blood, I started to get ready for school. A quick and difficult shower later and getting dressed in something warm, making sure to cover my newly changed bandaged arm, I was brushing my teeth, just about to rinse when a knock sounded at the door.

I hesitated before responding. "Who is it?" I said.

"Mom." The voice said faintly.

Relieved it wasn't my father, but not that excited the same, I opened the door to my mother standing in her morning robe and a small container in her hand. She held it up. It was makeup.

"What?" I said.

"I, uh, thought you may want to use this," She said. "To cover that up."

"Oh, uh, thanks." I said awkwardly. I reached out for the small cylinder. She placed it in my hand.

"Do you want me to put it on your neck for you?" She asked.

I gave her a look of confusion and she pointed towards the mirror. I looked in it and there, sure enough, was dark finger marks. I froze. It looked like I was strangled.

I pretty much was.

I looked down and put my palms on the edge of the marble counter top, leaning on it. I tried to contain myself. He left finger marks on my neck. Well that just plain pissed me the fuck off. After a couple minutes of silence, I jumped at my father's voice down the hallway, my anger suddenly disappearing.

"Boy! You have 10 minutes!" He boomed. I turned to my mother with a pleading look. She took the concealer out of my hand and opened it.

When she had finished putting it on my neck and stepped back, I gave her a look that said thank you, even if I shouldn't have.

"Let's go." My father said walking by the bathroom. I took a deep breath and scurried into my room, grabbing my bag of unfinished homework and pulling on my shoes. I made my way downstairs and out to the car, completely ignoring my growling stomach.

* * *

The car ride was silent, the only noise being the rustle of my jeans as I bounced my leg.

"You tell your little friends it was a hockey accident." Kenneth said stopping in front of the school.

I didn't respond as I opened the car door and slammed it behind me. I began walking up to school, when I heard my dad's car shut off and a door open.

"Hey!" He yelled getting my attention. I whipped around and looked to both sides to see if anyone else was out in front. Only a couple people, but they didn't seemed fazed by my father's actions. I looked back at him and he pointed a finger at me. "Cut the attitude." Was all he had to say.

I nodded and turned back around to the school. I could hear him peel out of the parking lot.

...

I entered the Western Wing; my head ducked down, and approach my locker.

"Kendall's here, guys!" A high-pitched voice said. I glanced around to see who it was and it was Camille. "Hey Kendall! What- ... What happened to you?" She said.

I looked back at my locker, opening it and shoving my bag inside.

"Hello? Kendall? What happened?" She said.

"Hockey accident." I lied.

"What exactly happened though?" She pushed.

"I was... I was doing drills and the puck came up and hit me; I'm fine though, it doesn't hurt. Got me pretty good, don't you think?" I joked.

"Yeah! It looks like you were beaten!" She said.

"Yeah... It does." James said walking up to us. My eyes widened. Camille turned to James and her cheeks tinted.

"Hey James." She said shyly.

"Hi Camille." He smiled and then turned to me. "Kendall, what happened?"

My heart was racing. He knew exactly what happened. I averted my eyes. "Hockey accident."

He made a noise of agreement, still eying me.

"James! Are you busy tonight? I was wondering if you wanted to go catch a movie with me?" Camille said suddenly.

He tore his eyes away from me and looked down at Camille. "I'd love to."

Camille blushed. "Awesome."

"KENDALL!"

I raised my head and searched for the voice yelling my name. My heart melted.

Logan.

"Hey," I smiled looking at him as he walked up to us. His facial expression switched from happiness to worry.

I pointed to my cheek. "Hockey accident."

He made a face. "Aww, that sucks. You okay?"

"Yeah, just fine." I grinned.

"Sorry I wasn't here; doctor's appointment."

I gestured to James. "James told me."

"Ahh," He said understanding.

**_~RING~_**

"Darn. I guess I'll see you guys at lunch. See you, Dimples." He flirted and turned his heel, leaving us.

"See ya, Logan." I said.

I faced Camille and James again.

"I should go. Don't want to be late." Camille said.

"Bye" James said. I waved.

Once she was gone, James grabbed my arm and began pulling me towards the restroom.

_"James, no."_ I whined knowing what he was doing.

He ignored me and continued to drag me with him. He closed the door behind us, and then checking all the stalls to make sure no one else was in here. When no one was, he stood in front of me and crossed his arms.

"Hockey accident my ass."

I gulped. "Yup." I said with emphasis on the 'p'.

"Kendall," He said putting his arms at his sides. "Don't try and shut me out. What did he do?"

"What does it look like he did?" I said getting angry; we don't need to be having this conversation now. "I talked back, he hit me, that's all!"

"Kendall, what happened? The whole thing."

"James. Can we just go back to class?" I said not wanting to talk about it.

He gave me a look.

I took a deep breath. "Fine." I huffed. "After you left, we sat down for dinner and my dad started saying these. . . these hurtful things about; first, you, then Logan. They were mean, but they weren't getting to me, but I finally snapped when he started talking about Dustin, my old boyfriend. The one I had when they found out and sent me away." I informed him; my eyes stinging. "I just. . . that was the last straw and I yelled at him. He threw his glass cup at me, but I ducked! Then. . . he pinned me up to the wall by my neck and when I talked back again. . . he punched me making me fall on the ground. . ." I mumbled the rest. "And then kicked me."

"What was that last part?" James asked.

"James, please stop." I said getting angry.

"No." He said. "What else did you say? Tell me." He ordered.

"He kicked me, okay? !" I said loudly pulling up the front of my shirt. He gasped.

Tears fell down my cheeks. Why must I be so sensitive to everything? I put my shirt back down. "It hurt so b-bad."

He gently pulled into his embrace, noting to avoid my mid-section, and held me tightly.

After a few minutes or so, he lent back and looked into my eyes. "You. . . you didn't cut afterwards, did you?"

I shook my head.

He hesitated. "I know this is stupid, but can I see to know that you aren't lying?"

I nodded and held up my arm, sliding back my cotton sleeve and lifted the bandages, not completely undoing them, but opening them enough to see there was still eleven. He checked.

"Good." Said James. "Now, since class is almost over anyway, let's just wait here and then go to 2nd hour."

I nodded again wiping my eyes.

* * *

I was sitting at our usual table in the lunchroom talking to James, when Carlos, Camille and Logan finally arrived. After grabbing their food they sat down. Logan sat next to me.

"Hey." He said.

"Hi." I grinned.

"So, guys, it's the weekend in three hours," Carlos began. "Do you all want to spend the night at my house tomorrow?"

"Parents out, I'm guessing?" Logan said.

"Hell yeah." Carlos said giving Logan a high-five.

"I'll go." James announced.

"Me, too." Camille said.

Logan turned to me and whispered. "I'll go, if you go."

I smiled. "Then I guess I'll see you there."

"Okay," Camille said getting our attention. "Something is up with you too." She looked between Logan and I. "All you guys have been doing is smiling at each other like you are toge-. . . Wait a minute." You could see the gears turning in her head. "Are you guys going out?"

Logan was silent. I blushed.

"Camille! You don't just ask that." James said.

She looked at him. "They are, aren't they? And you knew it? Come on, guys! Don't leave me in the dust!"

"Yes, Camille," Logan whispered. "We're together."

She squealed happily. "And when was I going to be told this? Did you know?" She said to Carlos.

He put his hands up in to defense. "I know as much as you do."

She turned to Logan, James and I. "What the actual fuck guys?"

James, Logan and I laughed. "Sorry, its only recently though, so we would of told you two eventually." Logan said.

"How soon is _eventually?"_ Carlos asked swallowing a mouthful.

"Like now."

Carlos gave Logan a look then returned back to his food.

"But can you guys, like, not tell anybody? I don't want it getting out. . ." I piped up.

"Yeah, we can do that." Camille thought for a second. "Wait, then that means Kendall is not only taken, but all the girls that want him can't have him when he's single either."

"Sorry." I said while she pouted.

"Hey, no pouting, I'm still here." James said.

"True." She laughed.

"What about you guys? You guys have been acting weird too." Carlos said to James and Camille.

"Well," James started, but was rudely interrupted.

"When we went out for food the other night, we bonded more and then made out in his car." Camille blurted.

I busted out laughing; Logan and Carlos not far behind.

"Oh my God, that's hilarious!" Carlos said chuckling.

"It is kind of funny, but it was so much fun." James said smirking at Camille and then kissing her.

_"Ewwwww!"_ Logan and I said in unison. Logan threw a French fry at James.

"You know you love it." James shot back.

Logan made a gagging motion and James threw the same French fry he was pelted with, back at Logan. "Boy lover." He said jokingly.

"Damn straight." Logan said putting his hand under the table and grabbing my hand.

He looked at me and said randomly: "I didn't get to see you yesterday. Can I drive you home?"

"No!" I said quickly. My eyes widened when I realized how fast I had replied. He can't drive me home; my dad will see him.

Logan blinked. "Oh."

I could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Mr. Walters gave us homework for over the weekend and Kendall was going to help me after school for a while before I went to the movies with Camille, so I was going to drive him home. . . so he could help me. . . with my homework. . . for a while." James said awkwardly.

Logan seemed to understand, but he only nodded. I gave his hand a small squeeze. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

The bell, signaling lunch over, rang and we all went back to class.

* * *

"So, I'll see you tomorrow at Carlos'?" Logan said at my locker after school. I filled my bag with homework I really didn't want and when I was done I closed the small door. I faced him.

"Yup!" I smiled.

Logan returned the smile and then glanced around to hallway. Everyone had gone home and the hall was empty.

"Do it." I said.

He looked at me, shocked that I had practically read his mind.

"Do it. I know you want to." I said.

"But, your bruise. . ."

"I don't care. Let it hurt."

He smirked and then grabbed the sides of my face, I put my hands on his hips. We both lent in, our lips meeting in a long kiss. It might have only been two days since the last time this happened, but it seemed like so long ago. After a few moments, he pulled away. I placed my forehead on his and stared at him. He licked his lips.

"I like you, Dimples."

As I stood there, I realized I had yet to give Logan a nickname. I could call him Logie, but his parents probably call him that. Logie-Bear? Nah, what are we? Seven? What could I call Logan, that would mean a lot to me, and I would certainly be the only one to call him that?

Well, Logan is what keeps me afloat. I was, still am, depressed and the only thing that truly makes me happy is my friends and, above all, Logan. Logan, to me, is my savior. I always was a hopeless romantic when it came to fairy tales: the princesses being hidden and taken advantage of by their evil family members or masters. But even when things were going terrible for them, they still had hope that someday they would be saved. Be saved by their princes, their knight in shining armor. That's what Logan was to me; my knight in shining armor. My Knight.

"I like you too, My Knight." I said rubbing our noses together.

He giggled and his cheeks tinted pink. "I'm your Knight, am I? I thought that was your last name, Mr. Kendall."

I shrugged and whispered. "We can share it."

"Well, where'd you get to call me that?"

"Well, when things were bad, you were the one that saved me. You are my knight in shining armor. Therefore, my Knight."

He blushed. "Well, I'm flattered."

My phone beeped, breaking up our small alone time. I unlocked it and saw that it was my dad wondering where I was.

"I got to go, uh, James is waiting for me." I lied.

"Oh okay, Well, I got to go see Mrs. Miller for what I missed yesterday. I'll see you tomorrow, Dimples?"

I looked to make sure no one was around and pulled him into a quick kiss. "Of course, My Knight."

He blushed.

"Are you going to blush every time I say that? You know what, you're cute when you blush, so yes. You are going to keep doing that."

He hit my shoulder. _"Shut up."_

We both went our own ways and I couldn't help but smile.

* * *

When I got home, I stalked off to my room, not wanting to be near that man. Not out of anger, of fear.

* * *

- 20 minutes go. -

* * *

I buckled my seat-belt as I settled in my father's car, wincing as the strap rubbed on my stomach. I can't wait for tomorrow. I get to spend it with my friends and My Knight. God, I love this new name.

"What the hell are you so happy about?" My father asked driving out of the school parking lot.

"Nothing." I said trying to hide my giddiness by looking out the window.

"Well, I know how to change that mood," He said. "What was a wad of bloody toilet paper doing in your trash can?"

I whipped my head around. He had his free hand held up with a jumbled up piece of tissue in his palm. The same tissue I had used to wipe up blood from my wrist. . .

My heart raced. "What were you doing going through my trash?" I raised an eyebrow and narrowed my eyes.

"It was just sitting there on the top. But that doesn't answer my question." He put his hand back down.

"I don't know, maybe from when you punch me and it cut the skin on my face?" I pointed to the blemish.

"The cut isn't big enough to give this much blood and as far as I know, that's the only cut I've made on your body. So, what's it from, Kendall?"

"I-It was from the cut-t." I stuttered and mentally slapped myself. Stuttering always gave me away. What if he knew? What if he figured it all out? I just can't afford to be thinking like that. . .

He didn't answer, only pulled into our driveway. He turned off the car. Before slamming the car door behind him, he spoke.

"You stuttered. You're lying."

* * *

- Now. -

* * *

I hid in my room for the night, now even coming out for dinner when my mother asked me too. Fuck eating with them, I'd die. I just camped up in my small room, listening to my iPod, read a bit, and finishing up my homework. When I was finally finished, it was just passed 10:30. I was slightly tired, so I just decided to go to bed, there was nothing else to do.

As I laid there, I thought about how my day had went; I only cried once. New record. Logan and I were official and out to our friends. I just hope they keep quiet. The last thing I needed was my parents finding out or the whole school. That would be catastrophic. I found a nickname for Logan, which is amazing, if I do say so myself. I find it so cute and adorable, just like him. No one else may love it as much as I do, but it really means a lot, and I think that since it is just such a good name, I'm going to always call him that. No more Logan this, Logan that.

Just: My Knight.

* * *

**A/N:**_ Well there you have it. Next chapter will be them all at Carlos'. Hope this was good._

_Please Review!_

_Xoxo, Jennie._


	6. I couldn't do it

A/N: Soo.. I'd hate to be a bitch, but I lost all motivation for writing this. I've been so busy with school and terrible family problems that I kind of put this story and "What Logan Left Out" in the dust. And when I went back and reread this one.. I just wasn't feeling it anymore.

So... By the power that I hold..., I've decided to rewrite it another way. Same main plot( Kendall going to straight camp, the cutting, falling for Logan) , but a lot's going to change. I feel better doing that. I didn't really write it the way it should have been.

I'm sorry to anyone who liked/loved this story the way it is, but I just want to put it out there a different... How should I put this... Format?

I hope when I put out the next version of it you enjoy it as much as this one.

It will have a different title, so make sure you follow my account if you are interested.

I tried. I really did.

_Xoxo, Jennie._


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